Hi everyone! So I know I have been the worst blogger as of late and I haven’t published a post since the middle of September. I don’t know why but I have just lacked motivation to blog, I mean this is the fourth version of this blog post which I had already written but didn’t end up publishing it. I have been wanting to get back into blogging as I have had a surge of ideas but I didn’t want to just jump back in as if I had never been away and even since drafting this post a lot has changed and I just wanted to write a post to kind of explain what has been going on and how I am feeling.
Just over a month ago I started a new job.
A month later and I have quit.
Yes, that’s right, I quit. After only a month. Let me explain why. The role I had was an administrator at a referral centre for child and adolescent mental health services. The core tasks of my role were to take calls and log referrals that came through via email and over the phone. If I had published the post I wrote a week or so ago I would have talked about how I was enjoying my job but was struggling with it. One of the things I had the biggest problem with was being on the phones. Although it wasn’t a call centre per say, it was a very call centre environment as we had to wear a headset all day and were constantly taking calls. I also didn’t have a manager from halfway through my third week as they weren’t doing a very good job.
However, the main reason I finally decided to quit my job was because it was damaging for my mental health. I was waking up practically every morning feeling anxious and sick and I couldn’t even explain why and I felt so out of control of it. It was so much pressure and I was making constant mistakes which I knew other staff members were picking up on and it just got too much for me eventually. I was going to stick it out for a couple more weeks but I just thought to myself why should I muddle through for another couple of weeks to feel the same way and end up making the same decision.
The thing about the whole situation was that I don’t regret it in the slightest. When I left on Friday, knowing that I didn’t have to go back, it was like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt so at peace with the decision. The major problem with anxiety is that its a vicious cycle as you get anxious about something but then get anxious about being anxious. I am lucky in the sense that I don’t have any major responsibilities and I have saved my wage pretty well over the last month so have a bit to see me through for a month or two so I don’t have to rush into another job. However, I would always put my mental health first no matter what. I would much rather be healthy and happy and not have a lot of money than having money but miserable in my job and be as anxious as I was in this job.
In terms of my blogging comeback, I hope to get one post out a week at least. Hopefully this will be more manageable whilst I am not working particularly. I have some fun posts I want to share so I am excited to get back into it.
Thanks for reading!